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Ayanna

Reader's Discretion Advised

...this confuses me. So...it's like tumblr...for books?

Either way, I'm mainly on Goodreads. I do occasionally come here, and also do periodically import my shelves from GR here, but GR is a more sure bet for contacting me.

Hostile Ground

Hostile Ground - L.A. Witt, Aleksandr Voinov post-DNF:
I liked it, and then I didn't like it, and you can kind of see that. But the thing is, I didn't know I kind of liked it until I stopped liking it, and then it was just sadness and unhappiness all around (or something). But this is my kind of summary which I put at the beginning instead of just rant and then finally summarize like I usually do.
Actually, I don't know if my current lukewarm feelings are due to the disappointment generated later on or if I really was ambivalent towards it. At one point, I would have typed loudly: "D: I AM SO SAD AND UNHAPPY AND DISAPPOINTED THIS COULD HAVE BEEN GOOOD *WAILS*" but I'm not there anymore. Now it's just a sea of ambivalence surrounded by a whole bunch of "meh" and "I could be on tumblr *sigh*."


**

"Like [b:Mexican Heat|5522148|Mexican Heat (Crimes & Cocktails, #1)|Laura Baumbach|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1293236267s/5522148.jpg|5693163], but edgier"
...is what I thought at the end of Chap 4. Ironically (or not), it wasn't until this one line by Ridley ( on why they can't be together: "And I'm in too deep") that I drew the parallel. And then I started thinking/worrying "what if it turns out Ridley's undercover, too? ...I actually wouldn't want that to happen. I was only really okay with it in Mexican Heat because of the aftermath thing and how that was dealt with and stuff. aejdskfasldj I don't even know."

But then there was the thing with Pete. What was he, another undercover op guy? Who are they, then? FBI? DEA? aka the Bigger than the Local Cops guys? Lol hey, right after I typed this, it appeared in the text.

Eh, but that means it's a Mexican Heat redux, then...


The worst part of it all is now it feels like (to me) that Ridley's been neutered.

Why do I feel like throwing the gun into the Sound was one of the stupidest things he could have done? Why couldn't have have, I dunno, wiped it down or something? I mean, the whole ruse of getting him framed re-instilled some of the tension, but the tossing into the Sound thing made it all melodramatic and stupid again.
And if "Saeed" really is that suspicious, wouldn't it have made more sense for him to have just wiped it down, but still given it to Gray and pretending like nothing happened?


OH GOD IT'S MACHO POSTURING. EW EW EW EW EW MAKE IT GO AWAY.

*sigh and now they're all being idiots, but most especially Mahir. Aw, man, I haven't even hit the half-way point yet! =_= why did he have to become idiotic and unlikeable before the half-way point? Now I feel disinclined to continue reading.


I skimmed in disgust for a good 10 pages.
The funny part is this line is what got my attention:
“So someone’s skimming?”

OH, SHIT *THROWS HANDS UP* I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME, OFFICER. *TRIES TO RADIATE "NOT GUILTY" VIBES*
...and then rationality kicked in and I realized (duh) they were talking about someone skimming money off the Big Bad.

But seriously, the confirmation of the "big reveal" pretty much neutered the story. Before, it was all intense and dark and gritty and actually kind of mind-fuck-y, but now it's just eh. Meh. *shrug. *gestures vaguely. Eh.

Psh. Fucking fuck. I liked borderline psychopathic Ridley.
That'll teach me (it never teaches me). Why do I always end up liking the psychotic characters? They never last long (before they die, or go back to their "normal" selves, and either way, I'm left pining after more of their story).

Ew. It's all...sappy now. But like...tarry sap. It's still dark...-ish, but it's also sappy and hey, look at that, they lampshade it:
"It was tamer, less primal and crazy. Less dangerous."
...I mean, on one hand, bravo for being all meta about it, but on the other, it's just...boring. It was cool and interesting before and now it's just...neutered. But it still keeps trying to hump things cuz it thinks it can still impregnate legs and I dunno stuffed animals and sofas and shit. And that metaphor got away from me reaaally quickly wow okay enough of that.

Eh. Who knows. I haven't hit the half-way point yet. Maybe it recovers. Hopefully it recovers. That makes me said. I want Ridley to actually be a criminal. Can we have something where later it's like "SURPRISE, MOTHER FUCKER, I REALLY WAS A CRIMINAL ALL ALONG, YOU DAMN COP. By the way, I still want to fuck you" like I don't know I'm tired of all this need to be morally conformist to society and shit like why can't we accept moral ambiguity and/or have characters who don't feel constrained to morals but still hold themselves accountable anyways like come on, that's the most boring type of willing (Kant). Conformity to duty out of benevolent inclination? I want something with characters who are like, "*sigh* I know normal people feel this is moral, and logically, yes, this is moral, and in a moral-less world I would be okay with it, but because we live in a world in which morality exists, and to do this thing would be immoral, I'll refrain from doing so." Like those are the coolest characters to get into the heads of, you know what I mean? (It's okay; you may not, and it might not be your fault. Sometimes some people find me hard to understand. Sometimes, I find me hard to understand. It's a coherency and contraditory belief-feeling issue and wow this tangent is getting far too long.)

D:
Everything Ridley says now sounds stupid and idiotic and macho-posture-y. It's like his bite is gone and now all he is, is bark, and it's a load of hot air. Fuckin' fuck, authors. Did you have to turn him into a windbag so early on? You couldn't have waited a bit, built up the paranoia, built up the ambiguity, built up the antici............................pation?

See? Frank knows how to do it.
^I don't know why that was necessary. It probably really, really wasn't, but the fact that I was distracted enough to want to go search up a gif in the middle of R&R'ing might say something about this...

“A scuba diver. This time of year.” Shaking his head, Lombardi wagged a finger at Mahir. “I like you, son. Might have to keep you around after all.”
^What the hell is wrong with Lombardi? Was that funny?

I think the biggest problem for me at this point was that Ridley was the best villain. Lombardi was a joke. A borderline joke, and therefore highly dangerous, yes, but a joke nonetheless. Ridley was (<-being the operative word here) the interesting one. The more suave, refined, and for some reason, seemingly classy one. A classy villain. Ish. I don't think he was exactly classy, but he had that sort of refined air. I dunno, I kind of feel like John in His Last Vow." You know, the "used to a higher class of criminal" thing and all that.
On an unrelated note, I absolutely despise what Sherlock did to Lestrade at the beginning of "The Sign of Three." Like. Just. Wow. I just...I hate hate hate using the c-word, but I thought, "Wow. What a fucking cunt."
I dunno, was that supposed to be humorous? It just shows that he's dangerous because of his cold and callous disregard for humanity, and so yes, he is a psychopath, which means the same thing as a sociopath (even though the first incidence of this did make for a snappy, if ill-informed, retort). It's little moments like these that make me laugh when people claim he's not a psychopath/sociopath. Umm. Yes he is. Perhaps he was becoming more humanized in relation to John, but John (and Mrs. Hudson, I suppose, at times), is/are exception(s), not the rule. I mean, okay, he didn't screw Lestrade over intentionally; that was just thoughtless behavior, and thoughtless behavior doesn't a psychopath make. I have to grant that one. Fine. He may not be a psychopath (though there are other little things in his interactions with not-John that still make me wonder at times), but he's probably got a few PD's floating around. And either way, he's a fucking man-child and sure, that makes for good television and fangirl material, but taking a step back, thinking about it logically, and extrapolating it into the real life, that's not someone you want to be around. This, I think, is what makes Elementary so compelling, then, because they DON'T cater to Sherlock's narcissism and give him a blanket bye because of his genius. And this has been getting far too long geez okay enough of that, back to reading the story.



“Can’t let you take the fall for my mistake,” Mahir said in a low tone. “You’re in deeper.”
That quote bothers me because the stupid "in deeper" line is back again. I didn't think it was a particularly good line the first time it was used, and now it's become a gimmick that I hope will NOT come back anymore to haunt me (the reader). Its first incidence was too unsubtle for it to be anything except a bad attempt at foreshadowing, but in a gimmicky way. It's one of those things that authors do that always has me wondering. It's similar, in my mind, to the word-vomit thing that authors sometimes use to shove plot along. Like does that really happen? Are there some people really incapable of controlling their mouths while not wasted, drunk, or sleep-deprived, etc.? Like how much of an idiot are they, then? I dunno, it always makes me think people are brain-damaged idiots (okay, not to that extent, maybe, but something along those lines to a lesser degree) when there's, "Oh, crap, did I say that out loud?"
And also, how stupidly melodramatic would you have to be to do that? That's just histrionics, man. Unless well prefaced and justified, it's just histrionic bullshit. Like you might as well be screaming, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME. PAY ATTENTION TO ME" which is bullshit on an undercover op.
It just reminds me of this one quote -- very loosely paraphrased -- from Megan Whalen Turner's [b:The King of Attolia|40159|The King of Attolia (The Queen's Thief, #3)|Megan Whalen Turner|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1293505327s/40159.jpg|847545]: "makes you wonder just how much a stoic man really wants to hide when he unsuccessfully pretends not to be in pain."

Actually, from the premature big reveal on, it reads like a painfully bad "bad-comedy" (like you know how there can be good bad comedies, then ones that know they're a bad comedy and try to be and succeed in being so bad it's good, and then there're bad comedies that try so hard but they're worse because they failed to be a good "bad comedy").

"Shit just got real."
^made me laugh because no it hasn't.

The last, hmm....20 pages or so?...have been like a painful interlude written by an overly enthusiastic, but subpar, fan. I mean, I'm still filled with antici-.......
...because I'm grudgingly filled with cautious hope that maybe this is all a bad dream and he'll wake up and we'll go back and pick up from where the tension left off.

There's some more ridiculous bullshit going on with ...let me just give you the quote:
When this case finally broke, and the force—or DEA—raided the club, they were going to have to bring out their best, brightest, and most heavily armed because this was like Fort Knox staffed by steroid-addicted psychopaths.
...It's not just me, right? This line/these lines were a load of melodramatic bullshit? Especially after the anticlimactic stuff that's been happening these past few pages? 'Cause it's not impossible that it's just me and I've overreacting now because I get personally offended when stories I liked suddenly do something that makes me not like it anymore. It's just...*wordless noises of rage and discontent*



I hated Kinza. What was he supposed to do, humanize Mahir? It kind of worked at first, until he became an intolerable little shit, and Mahir became a ball of impotent, incompetent, unprofessional rage. Also, what up with the dad? Is he supposed to provide contrast and show what a saint Mahir is? All of those weird displays of unexplained moral high ground did that already, which rendered A-what's-his-face noise, static in the story.


It bothers me how close I am to reaching my DNF tolerance. Like I legit haven't even hit the half-way point yet and I keep pushing myself, telling me "at least reach the half-way point," but the struggle is startlingly real. I'm actually getting so close to the half-way point I'm apprehensive to continue because what if I get there and then I have no other incentive to keep going?

You know what fuck it. I made it to Chap 13 and I'm tired of Mahir's holier-than-thou bullshit inflicted upon him by the authors.

DNF: 50% right on the dot
(actually a bit more because I went away and did some stuff and forgot I'd decided to stop reading, wondered why I was so incredibly disengaged, and then stopped again, probs like 2 not-read pages later).


I think the worst part of this all (I know, I know, I've listed like 8 different "worst parts" or something and I should really know better than to use all these absolutes everywhere by now) is the authors. I mean, I know both these authors(' works), and I've liked these authors(' works), so what the hell went on in this one? They're both authors I've associated with a higher class of writing within the genre, so it's not like I can just go, "Oh, this section was probably just ____'s fault."


I found this gif and I don't really have a use for it, but I wanted to use it, so here it is: