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Ayanna

Reader's Discretion Advised

...this confuses me. So...it's like tumblr...for books?

Either way, I'm mainly on Goodreads. I do occasionally come here, and also do periodically import my shelves from GR here, but GR is a more sure bet for contacting me.

Matthew

Matthew - Mahsa Left off on latest chap (19, I think?)

Wow. Muffin - or rather, Matthew, now - has definitely matured since the first book. And again, rather tragically so. And it makes me sad.

Sidebar: THE ASHLEY THING. THE ASHLEY PARALLEL. BRIGHTEST BULB, NASTIEST BUGS. THAT IS A PARALLEL TO MUFFIN'S PAST OMG i feel smart i figured that out
No, though, you don't get it. It's even more tragic because Matty keeps thinking things like "why couldn't I have born her" and envying her lack of care and it's all the more tragic because that's who he was before, but like he can't see it now or something ლ(ٱ٥ٱლ)

Reflections on my [b:Traded|11773014|Traded (Traded #1)|JennaMarie|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/book/50x75-673c574e721a5d4c3fd6e25b74d42bf2.png|16724371] analogy from earlier. I think Matt is more understandable a character than Michael was. Michael did the thing you know, the "betrayal" to the authorities thing because it was the "right thing to do" and he was "inherently a good person." Matt/Muffin, on the other hand, was tired of being pushed around and lashed out the only way he knew how. I think that sort of behavior is a lot more understandable to the mass public than "goodness of the heart" motivation.


This Lestat's place. I read it recently, somewhere. I don't think it was in the first one, which means I read it somewhere else. But where?


The thing is, I understand everything Matthew's going through. The whole trying to act mature, but also painfully aware of one's immaturity, of being caught in that awkward cusp between being a clever fool and settling into a more worldly wisdom. Where you're old enough that all of the bigger people always assume and act like you should be old enough to have all of their life experience and be able to act upon that, and being frustrated because all you can do is try your best at what you know how to do. The whole struggling and struggling and maybe even seeing one day that all these "grown-ups" perhaps aren't as perceptive as you are in some ways, and that they, too, maybe aren't so world-weary and cocksure as they think they are. He's caught in the awkward process of becoming self-aware, all the while getting all this peripheral shit thrown at him.


Where it leaves off sucks. So much.