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Ayanna

Reader's Discretion Advised

...this confuses me. So...it's like tumblr...for books?

Either way, I'm mainly on Goodreads. I do occasionally come here, and also do periodically import my shelves from GR here, but GR is a more sure bet for contacting me.

Against Reason

Against Reason - Scarlet Blackwell My liking for the story progressively waned and waned until I really couldn't wait for it to be over.

Comments:
OMG YES. I don't know why but I'm ludicrously excited that there's not internal monologue somehow accidentally becoming external. Like, you know, the Oh, shit, I said that out loud thing. I mean, I pretend I do that, but really, what kind of idiot has so little control over their own self that they can't tell what they're thinking in their head and what they're saying out loud. Extenuating circumstances of stressful whatever, sure, but as a way of conversation starter? I find that a lazy author thing.

In this one, I almost thought there was a "realized it had been __ out loud," but it turned out to be just a sigh, and those are exusable. Perhaps that's why I'm so ludicrously excited; I thought it had happened but it turns out that (huzzah!) it hadn't.

Woooowww golden eyes. Now, that is cliche. Or poetic. Or, you know, cliche. Omg. Is he going to turn out to be a werewolf? I shall wait on tenterhooks to find out.

I learnt a new word. It is dogsbody. It means dog robber. Which means a dude in the Navy who does grunt work. Like, a dude....who is....not as high ranking...as other dudes. Summat like that. I learnted it. learnted a new words and all. I don't know why I'm doing this fake-drunk accent. You probably can't even tell it's an accent cuz I can't inflect through words. Unless I can. ...nope, it's not working. (Damnit)
On an unrelated note, I should switch to either "damn it" or "dammit." D: But I think "dammit" looks soooo stupid. "Damnit" just looks...better *gestures wildly/vaguely


Aplomb. Does it not mean what I think it means? Apparently I have that problem with words.
Because yes, it's got the self-confidence and self-assurance thing, but I always saw it as more with a touch of gravity about everything. Aloof, even. Does ex really fuck with aplomb? I'd think you'd want a guy who fucks with passion, not calmly. Sure, confidently, but calmly? All the time? Makes it sound like there's some lack of interest there, you know.

I kind of wonder if the author read Great Expectations or just read the wiki article, cuz there are those two words: "skeleton and waxwork." And also, the brief summary. Idk why, it just kind of feels like the author's basing it off the idea of Miss Havisham more than the character. Which, I guess, may be the point, but it feels generalized a bit more than I'd expect it to be for someone who seems to be attempting to refer closely to a specific allusion.

Still, I guess it's helpful for people who know nothing of Great Expectations. It's like having the wiki article in the story so the reader doesn't have to go look it up.
Does come off a tad obvious, though.

La-dee-dah, getting nit-picky now, and stuff.
"Because Jake still had the slightest trace left of that proud gay man he had once been."
Does that mean he's not a proud gay man anymore? Is he now an ashamed, straight man? Or woman? An undignified straight woman? I mean, we're dealing in opposites here, right? When you pair those together and then imply an opposite, it kind of implies the opposite of all the component parts, just a bit.

I get what he means, but it sounds weird when he refers to the cooked spinach as wilted. In a sense, it has wilted, from the heat of the cooking, and I guess it sounds less awkward than "cooked," but not by much. It also makes me look askance at it, just a bit.


The Miss Havisham thing gets a bit old. I feel like it's relying on it a bit too much. Not relying, per se, but like a person using crutches even though they can walk fine on their own. By and by, though, the person starts to grow reliant on the crutches and finds that he or she can no longer walk without them. After a while, the Miss Havisham analogy starts to seem like that person on crutches.
Kind of makes me think of Williams and his recrimination of Eliot for plagiarizing tradition.


Why use "remuneration"? Not saying she can't, but it seems like an odd choice. Unless it's a British thing. Otherwise, it reminds me of Darker than Black, which is a weird thing to be reminded of reading this.


There were a couple of quick breaks to switch between POVs for brief periods of time. That always seemed rather kitschy and fanfic-y to me, mainly because that's what I used to do when I dabbled in fanfic in middle school. It's a great way of getting words in, you know. Don't know what to write? Jump into someone else's head and show their thoughts on what just happened!
LAAAAAAME

The UST is so obvious that it comes off as gauche. It's like it's gotten past the point of acknowledged and into possibly forced, scripted, etc.
We get it. You want to hump each other silly and you don't realize the other has the same general idea. No need to beat the dead horse into an unrecognizable pulp of broken bone and bloody tissue.

I don't like Darius' prejudice about people who don't like showing their bedrooms having to have some secret to hide (like dildos or fetish gear, of course. it has to be something sexual, in his mind). Bedrooms are pretty personal. It should make sense why some people wouldn't want to show them to strangers, the same way most people don't like or are obligated to immediately reveal every single aspect of themselves to strangers (i.e. telling them every single detail of their life, their thought process, etc). Besides, people have a right to privacy, so it's their right whether or not they keep you from perceiving their bedroom, or any room, or anything about them, really. Sheesh.
I think what really bothers me is Darius acts as if he has a right to see other people's bedrooms, completely ignoring boundaries and privacy and whatnot, and that's not okay, because that means he's a selfish, inconsiderate jackass, and now I'm starting to dislike him.
No, that wasn't funny. It wasn't witty. It was stupid and tasteless and not really a joke. Sure, maybe a shitty joke, but no, it wasn't funny or witty.


I didn't understand the thing about the plant. Why did the thing about the plant become a thing? In a way, it's just another example of why Darius is a jackass.

It also makes me less okay with Darius going into the dining room when Jake expressly told him he was forbidden there. I mean, we kind of already knew he was going to go in because that was a really obvious Chekhov's gun, but once we actually get to it, I find Darius to be an ass, and I don't like that he's doing so.

Aaand just when you thought you escaped being beaten over the head with Great Expectations analogies, it comes rushing back with a vengeance. Fuck.

Can knives dull with age? How does that happen? It's not cutting anything. Unless it oxidizes. Yeah, maybe it does that. Otherwise, it's just a fancy expression that doesn't really have bearings on reality.

Eh. Yeah, I get Jake needs to move on and part of that would require the room cleared, but I still don't think Darius doing what he did was necessarily ethical. Efficient, maybe, plot-wise, but the more ethical thing would have been to respect Jake's right to his privacy. But of course, we need Darius to come blundering through and making a muck of Jake's tentative equilibrium to show how he could come to a "true" equilibrium.

Darius is stupid. No one make Jake the way he is except Jake. Sure, this Marc dude may have some hand in it, but ultimately, it was Jake who made Jake miserable. And you, stupid fool, went and said "whoever did this to you doesn't deserve to live." You realize you basically told Jake to go die? Of course, Jake probably doesn't realize that's what it means, so there's that, but still.

Do hospitals actually believe it if you go and tell them you're the relative of someone you're not a relative to? Don't they, like, check or something. Against, you know, official records and such.

I guess I can see how that would be difficult...

After a while, I tried to detach from the beginning of the story and ride out the rest of it. Jury's still out on how well that's going.
Nope, it's not working. I'm only 45% in and I'm reading with a constant level of mild disgust.
The stupid heavy-handed Mr. Havisham thing. Again. And again. And oh, god, again.
Also, I seem to be getting too caught up with bunches of ethical concerns, which has yet to have bothered me this entire time I've been taking Intro to Ethics, so either it reading Mill that got me on this or this book has raised a few red flags with me and now I can't get the ethics off my mind.

Some reason, the sex got me thinking about some other story I read in which this guy realizes later on he was being raped, even though he was topping. What was it? Something about a wizard and magic and a guy under the sway of... aha [b:Gardens Where No One Will See|19484141|Gardens Where No One Will See|T.C. Mill|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1387135712s/19484141.jpg|27568744].

I don't like that Marc turned out to be a jackass. It seems so trite and cliche and not fair to Marc at all. It basically makes him useless as a character; he's just a plot device now. I wish the author had given him a chance. It would have made choosing Darius more significant, more meaningful. Instead, the story went with the most cliche scenario possible. The path with the least resistence, sure, but mostly because people are just waiting for it to finish before getting on with their lives.

Where did the worms in the cake come from? Maggots would have made more sense.

And Jake was just pathetic. He's a victim, and all he can ever be is a victim, and he doesn't really do much except be a victim. I don't see much concerted effort on his part to not be a victim. He mostly just lets stuff happen to him, doesn't really seem to do much. He's kind of like Padme Amidala in Episode III. You know, the "all I can do is stand around crying until I die. Of a broken heart."

Marc ended up making no sense. Scratch that, they all ended up making no sense. One dimensional, the lot of them. They're flat characters, going through the motions of pretending to be round characters.


To sum up, I kind of liked it, then I liked it less, and then I didn't like it, and then oh, god, when was it going to end?

In a way, the title is apt. The only way I'd think of rereading is, of course, against reason.
image

I kind of like the cover, though. Of all M/M covers I've seen with people on them, this one's actually not that bad. The cover gets a 3.5/5. Just the cover, though, mind you.