The writing is...obvious. The author's trying to frame the message in terms of the story but more focus is on the message than the story.
They jump into the sex pretty early on. It seems more an author obligation than actual organic development.
And if he's waiting for "sickening nausea and shame" after coming, then he's probably not waiting for ... which "precede[s]" sex but "follows" it. Cuz, you know, "precede" means "to come before something," in this case, nausea which comes before sex.
The beginning's got some BDSM-hate going on, which bothers me. I mean, BDSM as therapy=bad, yes, but BDSM in general, no, not necessarily. Still, that could be part of the MCs neuroses, so I'm willing to wait that one out.
It's awkward. The message the author wants to convey is so blatantly at the forefront that the MCs internal dialogue sounds like wangsting on the world's smallest violin.
It has potential, I guess. The characters aren't complete caricatures. More amateur actors who don't quite really relate to their roles, perhaps.
There are leaps that are far too large. Time gaps that don't do the narration any favors.
So...final verdict: it's rough, definitely, and kind of painful/annoying to read because it was so blatantly pushing its Higher Message at you, and then there's the Deus Sex Machina
thing and the Intimate Psychotherapy
thing (and basically a lot more that are a pain in the ass to link and idc enough so w.e)...
I mean, it was
visceral at times, so there's that...