Reader's Discretion Advised

...well...
I think you're mixing metaphors here. "Fucking the shit out of-" Oookay you lost me and now I'm slightly disgusted. I mean, okay, let's be fair, NMK, maybe it's yours?

It's just...you realize with guys, you fuck the hole the shit comes out of? Is the shit coming out as you're fucking?

Also, "beating the shit out of you" is the more common idiom, and I couldn't help but think he maybe meant that whilst saying "fuck," which, of course, leads to some decidedly nonsexy thoughts. See, that only works if your name is Gabriel and his name is Rase Ilion, but alas, they are not, and so this, decidedly, does not work.


And of course, this was before I realized how short it was. The story is basically "Oh there's a proble- Oh, nope. Never mind, I must have read the situation wrong. No, no, I assure you, there is indeed no problem. ...what was the hullabaloo about, then, you say? So sorry, won't happen again. No, of course not. There was a perfectly valid rea-- Of course there was. What was it? Well, I'm very sorry to have troubled you, it won't happen a-- They're not excuses; there's no problem, really."

And honestly, I could go on and on, but then my review would be longer than the story was.

I mean, it sounded like it had a cool concept. It's just, you know, the concept didn't go anywhere. It kind of started leading you somewhere, or so it led you to believe, but then it summarily abandoned you on the wayside in the middle of nowhere with flat plains for miles and miles around until the landscape disappears over the horizon. No, excuse me. There's not nothing. There's an aborted attempt at building a fence. No idea why anyone would need a fence here, but clearly someone at some point decided there ought to be a fence, and now we have the beautiful rather run-down segments maybe a few yards long. Oh, and I do believe that's a tree there in the distance. And oooh how exciting, a pothole. A small one, mind you, and a bit more off in the shoulder - what on earth is it doing there, of all places - but a pothole nonetheless.

Well, that's quite enough excitement for today. Better stop before I implode from sheer stimulation.

[*shrug Idk YMMV. You might think this was the best thing since sliced bread. I didn't really hate it all that much. I just didn't particularly like it, either, and really, it seemed a rather waste of time.]

(after reading a few reviews)
I'm sorry, there was knotting? How on earth did I miss that? And mild spanking? When did that happen? It must have been after I lost interest after that one character started off by saying "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you."
Ah, well, then. No wonder I missed it, seeing as it was all sex and I'd lost interest in trying to read the sex after that first *heaves into bucket* (sotto voce: you know). Oh, and there was another one. I guess they think it's sexy.
Hey, whatever, man. YKNMK. Very NMK. Actually, he mentions it twice, and brings it up from the get-go. Is it safe to assume it's a fetish, then? No, now that's me being excessively snarky. Now I'm just being mean. I'll just leave it at YKNMK. Really, really NMK.