The story was actually quite good. I rather enjoyed the interactions between the characters.
I totally called the Dorian-almost-getting-enslaved thing, although I kind of wanted it to go a little further...
I thought the ending was rather abrupt, though. It ended before the story got a chance to finish resolving itself. It's like me when I get towards the end of an essay or letter and I have no idea how to end it, so I just kind of leave it off. Except that's really not a great way to conclude a piece of writing.
Still, the universe is quite nicely built.
It's interesting/weird because Dorian's apparently a bit of a "butterface." The emphatic reiterations of the plainness of his face were rather weird. He's not beautiful. Not that he's completely plain, of course; he's decent to look at. He's just not beautiful
, you see.
I do still feel cheated out of an actual ending, though.
I agree with many of the points Charly
I didn't have some problems xe had (the italics, for example. It didn't really matter so much the names of the characters speaking as who they were and their motives for the things they discussed, which I thought were sufficiently conveyed).