This book features the improper use of a comma before "because" very, very often. There are times when I'd say it was excusable - barely - because it's written in 1st person and "adds to character voice" or w/e bs ppl have tried to convince me of. There are other times when I stare at the comma and wonder why the author thought there should be a "natural" pause there.I suppose for other people it wouldn't be much of a problem? I only mention it because I found it highly distracting and highly exasperating.Here's a sample of chunk for ya:"He was tall and had a dominating presence that commanded attention."I'd like to point out that his dominating presence commaded attention. As opposed to a dominating presence that causes him to fade into the background?And then the comma splices. Oh, god, the comma splices. Why is it that people have so many issues with commas? Okay, to sum up:The writing's pretty good, but still a bit unwieldy. And there are some errors that I feel like could have been eliminated with a bit better editing (awkward reptition such as in "'...Tony is after your demon is the one we're after.'")And another thing. I've always wondered about random-ass-sex and random-rimming. I mean, come on. In the end, the asshole is the asshole. That's where the shit comes out. Maybe I'm just too paranoid or too much of a mysophobe, but...I dunno...it just bothers me that there isn't some sort of active cleansing ahead of time.I mean, I get that's it's erotica and fantasy and whatnot, but I just can't help but wonder about - what about the shit?This story is...interesting? It has a lot of errors, though, and the writing could be streamlined a lot. I mean, it's interesting if you read for world creation/ambiance, but it's also rather truncated and rushed. There's a lot that isn't revealed and there's no sequel (yet?).