The only real objection I have is to the awkward POV shifts within the narration. It would go from 3rd-person-limited-Nolan to 3rd-person-limited-Mark without section dividers.It was going kind of well until:“I know Jerry’s offered to introduce him to a better class of dom, but apparently Edward said that he finds nice guys boring,” Denton said with a raised eyebrow.Surely you meant to say "Mark"? As in, the author definitely means Mark here, unless she spontaneously decided to switch Mark and Nolan's names?The rest of it was really...benign. Maybe it was just wrong time, wrong book, but I found it a little boring, actually.*shrug.