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Reader's Discretion Advised

...this confuses me. So...it's like tumblr...for books?

Either way, I'm mainly on Goodreads. I do occasionally come here, and also do periodically import my shelves from GR here, but GR is a more sure bet for contacting me.

Apple Crisp - Kate Hill Sometimes it's fun to read badly written books so you can make fun of them (it's like watching badly made movies with a bunch of friends so you can insult them together :D). This, however, only works if you know it's really crappy going into it.Luckily, I'd heard some stories so kind of was expecting stuff.I still can't get over the fact that the MC's name is Antjuan. I mean, wtf is "Antjuan"? I keep seeing Ant-Juan. Like, an ant named Juan or something. It keeps making me think the MC's an anteater for whatever reason.I didn't read it too closely, but there are some things I'd like to point out.First off, Seth's "human" form is all hairless and scaly and snake-eyed. The author does realize that humans aren't all hairless and scaly and snake-eyed, right? If anything, it sounds more like Seth's "snake-shifters" are simply a more advanced species of anthropomorphic snakes. Secondly, so Ant wants to bottom as well as top. Congratulations. You've just proved that you're in m/m, and not yaoi.(*gives up on numbering system; it sounds tacky)The "star-crossed lovers" thing is really melodramatic. The prejudice behind snake shifters didn't really make sense to me. The book reads like the author's preaching to a bunch of ophidiophobes. Hmm...maybe this book is geared towards that 1/3 of the population. I just have a hard time accepting that everyone in that world would be ophidiophobic. Except Ant, of course.The "conservation of mass" idea seems weird to me because if Seth's form were a proportional looking snake, then that would mean he'd either be really large around or were really long (real snakes around the weight of an adult male human are generally around 20-ish feet long). I don't understand Ant bringing Seth into the city. If he really is all hairless and scaly and snake-eyed, wouldn't Ant realize that you really can't bring someone who looks like that around places without people noticing? I mean, if I saw some snake-looking dude walking down the street, I'd probably stop and stare (as rude as that would be). I'd imagine others would too.It also bothers me that there's lip curling going on. That's probably one of the worst ways to describe expressions. You might as well be saying "his facial muscles moved." Thanks. I know exactly what expression he's showing now.The compulsion dust thing...that was just weird.The cream pie quickly became a gimmick, which quickly became annoying. I also didn't understand Ant's "hurt"ness (wtf else can I call this?) after Seth told him he was actually on a secret diplomatic mission. "Gasp. He's trying to reconcile our two races and thought maybe I could help with that. That must mean he doesn't actually love me."It's the kind of stupid non-logic that's just completely idiotic.*cringes. "Maybe I was just meant to be with you." Yes, please. That's clearly my only self-definition. I exist for you. Does this normally sound so cheesy? I suppose framed in the right context it's romantic. Here, though, I'm just cringing. Maybe it's because Seth's personality is so ill-defined. (My point here is like that one quote by Abed in Community about how when you're confident in who you are, then it's not so bad to change for others. That's probably the kind of thing that quote needs to be framed in...well, idk.)Sex, sex, sex. Some more sex. Random excuse plot. More sex.>>gives up.ETA 4/14/13Reading Weasel's review I finally figured out the MC's name is intended to be "Antoine."...awk...